You might think I posted this to the wrong blog. Usually my Momma Thoughts go on my Momma's blog and not on our family blog. But since this post relates more to what is going on with the family, I'm putting it here.
As you've read often recently, this family is BUSY!!! And I enjoy being busy, but I enjoy the quiet, simple times just as much. Actually, since we've gotten so busy anymore, I treasure the simple times a whole lot more. I often miss the mundane, repetitive evenings we once had before the kids had baseball, school functions, etc. all of the time. I didn't realize how much solace I found in the predictable.
I don't mean to sound like I don't enjoy the activities. I'm just afraid that in all of this "busy-ness" we are going to "miss" the stages our family is going through. Like if you don't take the time to slow down and reflect, you might not actually FEEL what you are supposed to feel. You can be going through the motions and not actually experience life as it passes you by. I don't want to miss it. I want to FEEL it.
The past several weeks, I've found myself just going through the motions. I've gone where I've been supposed to go when I was supposed to be there, fulfilled my obligations as needed, and kept up as best as possible. But I realized yesterday that I've been coasting emotionally. I'm ready to start feeling again.
I think that a lot of my emotional "detachment" as I guess it could be called, relates to the unknown. I'm applying for jobs, trying to get back into teaching. I'm taking a class this summer, after having not been a student for 7 or 8 years. We are about to put the house on the market. Our future beyond this summer is so up in the air. And as the parents in the situation, I think Steve and I are both just trying to keep things as smooth as possible for the kids. In the meantime, the stress of it all is weighing on us more than we can even figure out ourselves. We've shown symptoms of stress without even realizing that we are stressed about it.
If you are reading this thinking "why is she telling me this," well, I'm not really sure... But I hope that you will pray for us. I'm confident that God has a plan for us. Please pray for us to have patience and clarity of thought as we approach what lies ahead. Pray that the children will transition smoothly. Pray that we clearly recognize God's promptings and obediently follow where he is leading. And pray for me to start "feeling" what I've been missing.
Thank you for your love for our family. Stay tuned to see where this adventure takes us :O)
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